Waking up from ignorance only to play catch-up with a world that never waits...

Meaningful Nonsense

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 15:58:08 GMT

My mind wanders yet no distance is ever traveled
It juggles thoughts in and out of notice quicker than I can perceive

Right now I just remembered that someone’s cat looked like a crossbreed of a monkey and a raccoon
And that lemur would be the closest creature nature made to fill in the missing genus of what I said earlier

Just how does popcorn pop and why are they puffy and white?
Why did people such as Job, Odysseus and Oedipus get to live such ill-fated lives?

I do believe in magic!
I’m in love!

I envy people going in circles
At least they’re always on the move

I just can’t seem to write anything substantial
But then again, every little thing is important in its own right

Everything I just wrote may not make any sense at all
But I hope for it to be understood for what it is.

Happiness

Wed, 01 Nov 2006 17:42:27 GMT

My life has shifted back and forth from relatively stable then to rock bottom and then to back again, though this time with unsteady footing. This, along with the passage of time, gave changes to the way I define being happy. For me, happiness is equated with a smile. Although I had always tried to face each and every day with childlike enthusiasm and optimism, a lot things had changed from when I was still playing with marbles on empty sandlots to seemingly losing the marbles of my mind, thus making it steadily harder and harder to keep a valid smile on my face and in my heart. And so, here I am today, pondering over a question only I could ever answer. And it goes like this:

What is it that makes me truly happy?

Back then, happiness was a simple thing. Anything that did not involve pain or hardship was enough.

I'd be ecstatic by just playing with friends on the streets wearing a sando, shorts and sandals twice as large as my feet or by merely playing out an intergalactic war with just my toys in the muddy garden beside the parking lot all by myself. Then there came a time when happiness was archived by defeating gun-wielding characters by fighting them back myself using only a keyboard and a mouse or by watching TV shows about magic, robots, conflict and love. And then came the present, where the world proved that it wasn't what I thought it to be. Happiness was getting harder to find, but then I'd know a lot of things to do or have to be done which can make me forget the loneliness of the moment. At the end of the day though, I still longed to find and feel something genuinely inspiring. If I would somehow find the thing that would make me lose the feeling of emptiness, I would hold on to it as long as possible. I would never like to feel insignificant again. I had once come close to renouncing my belief in God because I had thought He had abandoned me. I thought He had left me and my family to suffer. But on one evening, I came to tears upon realizing that God has never abandoned me or anyone else. I had come to the understanding that: Everything happens for a reason. God had a plan for me, and it was something I just had to go through. Though it was still unclear what that reason was, it was worth living my life to find that out. With this, came a new view to what happiness was. It was now something less material, and more intangible. If I would now answer the question I posed to myself earlier, I'd have to say that I now do not have a good idea of what happiness is, but I know that when I get to have a good time with friends, I am happy; when I get to help people out with their problems, I am happy: when I feel comfortable and secure; I am happy. If someone I care for is happy; I am happy. I also thought of this as well, if I would find a person that would love me as I am, I'd be happy. Truly, fully and sincerely... happy.

Happiness, to me, is now something I would risk pain and hardship to feel, because somehow I know it will be worth it.

And if you'd ask me right now if I am happy... I'd say: "Yes... truly, fully and sincerely."

And the dolls aren't lonely anymore...

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 17:20:06 GMT

It warms my heart to know that you do care...

And with that I do not feel lonely anymore.

And I am happy, happy, happy.

Thank you for reassuring me.

Cheryl, thank you.

Glad to know I helped!

Mon, 16 Oct 2006 18:15:38 GMT

After classes this past Monday, I was scheduled to go to Abby's house to fix up her PC. And so... along with Argie and Labs, we joined Abby and Khalai in Abby's house! I wasn't able to do much about the computer's problem, but then, there's always a next meeting! (nyek! parang subject lang!) When I got back to Sandigan... it was already around 7:45 PM. When I checked my money for my upcoming tricycle ride... the smallest amount of cash I had was a 200 peso bill! (in short: walang barya) And so I thought of buying something before riding. I decided to buy a few rolls of bread at the nearby bakeshop. As I was standing near the counter, this small, young, frail litte girl pleaded to me to buy some of her sampaguita so that she could buy some bread. I tried to ignore her, but then... well I guess I really can't. I asked her what bread she'd like to eat. She pointed to some choco-rolls behind the glass. Hah! It was the ones I had ordered earlier. I got one piece from my plastic bag and gave one to her. She immediately bit it (as in mabilis!!!) and seemed quite happy. I walked away after this and rode on the trike. Then, after reaching the end of the trike's route... this one girl who rode on the same tricycle with me was saying to her companion that she seemed to have lost this clip-on button badge which she just borrowed from her kuya in UST... and that it was with her a minute ago. Since it was already dark, it was hard to look for or even look at anything. As she was walking off looking irritated, I saw that the pin she was looking for was just on where she was seated in earlier in the trike. Guess she didn't notice it was there. I picked it up and handed to her. She thanked me and walked away relieved. And so... after randomly helping 2 people out I finally arrived home.

To make a long story short: Nakatulong ako sa dalawang tao na hindi ko inaasahan... at nakakatuwa yung pakiramdam!!!

Sana paminsan-minsan maranasan ko rin yung ganun... well come to think of it... I do!!! I owe a big thank you to all those who aid me even when not expected.

*sigh* If everyone helps everyone else in this world, life would be far more pleasant than it is now.
So sana... kayo!!! you! yes you!!! as in ikaw!!! Magtulongan tayong lahat!!! Spread the love!!! heh!!

It's worth it! Trust me on this!

It's been a while...

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 16:33:49 GMT

After months of just plain nothing, here I am again. hurrah!!!

I can say its been exciting during the past few months. It was like going through hell and back, and then over and beyond the sky.
I hope I can get high enough to reach the stars. Its merely an arm's length away, but I whouldn't like to merely grab on selfishly. I've done it before, and I just got myself burned. I failed because I was too inconsiderate to notice that it was not yet the time. I failed because of my impatience.

Now I know better.

It was a hard lesson to learn, but still a lesson worth learning.

I think failure only made me a better person.
It did. It really did.

It took a while, but I got back on my feet and started reaching up again.
I was guided by my determination to reconcile. Nothing else.
Gone was the mad fascination and illogical desire.
No longer was the moth entranced by the flame because it knew nothing of it.
The only thing in my mind was "I made the stars cry and so it lost its shine, dimming the world which appreciated her light. I've got to bring back the glow that I have stolen, so that again she could brighten everyone's world."
It took a long time, but still... I did it.

And now yet again I find myself in the position to reach the star I had admired wholeheartedly.
This time around, I will not make any stupid mistakes. Not again.
Someday, I'll try to hold that star again. But still, I'm content, for I know that because of the things I have done, she's brighter than before.

Heh... basta you can say that right now, I'm happy because she's happy because I'm happy because she's happy because I made her happy.
Basically ganun... and I hope na hindi na masira pa.

Pero, parang nakatulong rin talaga yung um... "tampuhan" period na nangyari dahil sa akin. In the end naman kasi, mas nakaliwanagan kaysa noong dati.
*sigh* Sana hindi na ulit kami magkaganoon. Ang hirap ng pakiramdam, sa bawat araw na nakikita ko siya alam kong may pinapanood akong naghihirap. At yung masaklap pa doon alam mo na ikaw yung rason. Ouch talaga! Buti naman at nakapagisip-isip ako na at least, AT LEAST, maging masaya siya ulit at gagawin ko ang lahat para magawa kahit ito lamang. Madami akong nagawa, at buti naman, naayos ko rin ang lahat.

Again I have a star to admire. And in knowing that she's shining for me and in part because of me, I can't help but feel joyful and content.
But I still have a wish for that star, and I hope it comes true.

Happiness

Wed, 31 May 2006 14:34:13 GMT

Happiness is like a crystal,
Fair and exquisite and clear,
Broken in a million pieces,
Shattered, scattered far and near.
Now and then along life's pathway,
Lo! some shining fragments fall;
But there are so many pieces
No one ever finds them all.

You may find a bit of beauty,
Or an honest share of wealth,
While another just beside you
Gathers honor, love or health.
Vain to choose or gasp unduly,
Broken is the perfect ball;
And there are so many pieces
No one ever finds them all.

Yet the wise as on they journey
Treasure every fragment clear,
Fit them as they may together,
Imaging the shattered sphere,
Learning ever to be thankful,
Though their share of it is small;
For it has so many pieces
No one ever finds them all.

~Priscilla Leonard

Tue, 30 May 2006 09:29:39 GMT

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

hmm... seems Ok... guess I'm not as cracked up as I thought I was.

cutting and pasting lyrics... a mark of laziness

Thu, 25 May 2006 18:18:42 GMT

Help, I need somebody,
Help, not just anybody,
Help, you know I need someone, help.

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me?

And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,
My independence seems to vanish in the haze.
But every now and then I feel so insecure,
I know that I just need you like I've never done before.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me?

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me, help me, help me, oh.

hope and despair

Fri, 05 May 2006 17:48:32 GMT

I don't feel as miserable as I did before, but the weight of so many problems still feels too heavy to bear.
It all just heightens the feeling of separation, loneliness and helplessness.
...
How I wish June would come as soon as possible... the May-day blues are killing me... why couldn't it just be merry?

I felt empty and insignificant. I yearned for attention...
It all may have been unfounded all along.
Somehow, I've forgotten to appreciate the people who continue to help me along the way.

I just miss all the people I hold dear all so much... guess its the result of being confined at home...
I miss the cheerful voices, the melodious laughter and even the sweet silence in knowing they're just right beside you.
These things all echo in my head like a beautiful but haunting song... When will I be able to actually hear it again?
I cherish the fact that they're all there... but they are all a memory as of the moment, for I feel they're far away.
Although still within reach... the more I chase, the more my heart feels the cruel distance. *heh, stole this line from a friend*
...
There is still someone though who really is like a star, I see her there but I just don't know how to reach out. As a matter of fact, I don't even know if I will be able too. I do try though, and in time maybe I will.

I will continue reaching for the stars...
...even though I may fall.

Still, I need support... for the past days I wanted to talk to so many people. I couldn't get through all of them, and it, along with worsening family matters *to think that Mother's Day is near* and financial woes, just made me fall into despair.

Hope shines through in the end... albeit only partly...
I still need reassurance...

solitude

Thu, 04 May 2006 03:20:39 GMT

I feel so lonely right now. No matter what I do to distract myself, I still end up feeling melancholic... feeling left behind.
~~Maybe I just need to see you again.~~
I don't know who to call for, who to reach. Everyone else seems too busy and preoccupied with their own lives.
~~Could God be too busy too?~~
I've lost myself again, just when I thought I will never have to find myself again.
~~I may have been living in a self-made illusion all this time.~~
I've been crying again... I've never cried for years...
~~Will anyone even care about that?~~
I need substance in my life.
~~I need someone in my life.~~
Someone please reach out to me...
~~Will you ever reach out to me?~~

the end that came too soon...

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 06:51:26 GMT

"I left my heart open
   wanted to take the risk once again
   catch myself thinking of you
How did you make me feel the way I do?
Making me fall in so fast
But didn’t catch me as you must
Aren’t you brave enough to dare?
You’re not even half the man I thought you were
Leaving me here with doubts on my mind
   never realized I became so blind
Unable to see you were a coward right from the start
I left my heart open
   wanted to take the risk once again
I thought you’ll come
But then again you're gone...."

...

If that was really for me, I'm sorry.

I am wrong to let the school year end without proper closure.

Yes, I am a coward for not doing anything else.

And I am a fool not to notice.

Still, I hope you understand that I am not gone. I'll never be.

Things should not end this way...

Somehow... I know it won't... now that I know that at least today, I've made you smile.

It's been a long journey, and it's not over yet...

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 09:42:33 GMT

The start of summer break in my calendar is at Wednesday, April 12, 2006.
Only 2 days to go full of exams... yet I can't even bother myself to seriously study for it.
I'll make it though... whatever happens... it won't be as much of a burden.

Summer break will last for about 1 and a half months. Then it's back again. Hurah for the short "rot at home" time.

My fresh start shall begin anew once more... and I just can't wait for it to begin... even if the schoolyear's not yet over.

The journey from then to now will forever remain etched in my heart; and even if my memory shall fail me, I am sure I shall still feel and know what I've felt and what I'm feeling.

There were times when I wished that my life played out like the most fantastic of stories. I longed to rise from rags-to-riches, be the hero who saves the day which ends up together with the fairy tale princess and live happily ever after. But then people say, the ironic beauty of fiction is that it ends. It leaves you with what it wants you to linger with, whether it be happy or sad. It will then not expound on anything beyond what is already there.

Beyond what I have stated above, what I now appreciate about life is that here, reality never ends. It is reality that allowed fiction to exist. Here, we are not bound by something predefined, we are our own story... and we make it so. Be it a blessing or a curse, here things change. But then again, we are allowed to change it ourselves. However, probably the most important thing of all, here in life, there is always a future to look forward to.

There are also some things where patience and persistence counts.
As for now, until the time is right, I'll be both.
Hope shall never end.

Thank you for being here... everyone... thank you.

Let's all continue on with a smile to show the world, for there is always something to be happy about.

Everything does fall into place all in its own time.

Fri, 24 Mar 2006 15:16:23 GMT

"I know I won't always be there to catch you when you fall.
But I'll be the one who'll help you back up again."

I had come to understand that I can never pick up all the pieces of broken dreams.

Some are too small, too sharp or too heavy.

Life surprised me today though, by fixing it all by itself.

All at the same time.

By a string of moments, the gaps were tied together.

Hope was recompenced.

Despair felt weightless and seemed nonsensical.

Faith was reassured.

And loss was lost.

It's amazing what could happen in a single day, isn't it?

It was the small things that made all the difference.

...nearing a state of ennui

Wed, 22 Mar 2006 12:59:58 GMT

1. Ano student number mo?
--> 043365

2. Nakapasa ka ba o waitlisted?
--> never really expected to pass...

3. Pano mo nalaman ang ACET results?
--> sa isang billboard

4. First choice mo ba ang Ateneo?
--> never was

5. Alam mo ba ang ACET score mo?
--> di nga eh... buti pa UP...

6. Ano ang first choice mong course?
--> BS Communications Technology Management

7. E second choice?
--> forgot...

8. Ano course mo ngayon?
--> BS Computer Science ^_^

9. May plano ka bang magshift?
--> wala...

10. Chinito/chinita ka ba?
--> singkit siguro...

11. Taga-Ateneo High-Manila?
--> yeah... why, is it a bad thing?

12. Nag-enjoy ka ba sa Orsem?
--> felt out of place... na-insecure ako

13. Saang gate ka pumasok nung first day?
--> nahatid using gate 3, but usually I commute and cross to gate 3. Pero nung nasara na siya ng Bayani Fernando... sa may entrance sa overpass na lang.

14. Nakapag-dorm ka na ba?
--> nope... been there a lot of times though... naging operator ng phone and paging systems pa nga eh.

15. Nagka-F ka na ba?
--> YES!!! and I'm partly proud of it...

16. Nagka-A?
--> sana... Oh wait... sa PE pala! =P

17. Highest grade?
--> A

18. Lowest grade?
--> F!!!

19. Worst experience sa ADMU?
--> wala naman, hindi naman yun ang pinoblema ko.

20. Lagi ka bang umaattend ng klase?
--> nope...

21. Anong org mo?
--> tried to enter ComicCol...

22. Ilang units na ang naipasa mo?
--> siguro mga 15... on the last sem...

23. Nangangarap ka bang maglaude?
--> I was free to dream...

24. Kailan ka gagraduate?
--> 2008

25. Fave teacher?
--> Sir Pesigan! may your soul rest in peace... We miss you!

26. Worst teacher?
--> hmm... Veric?

27. Fave subject?
--> Judo ^_^

28. Worst subject?
--> Eng 11

29. Favorite landmark sa ADMU?
--> I think of the ADMU as a landmark itself

30. Favorite Building?
--> SEC siguro...

31. Fave kainan?
--> Caf-Up... kapag nililibre

32. Estudyante ba ang bayad mo sa jeep?
--> minsan...

33. Lagi ka ba sa lib?
--> di naman... sa benches... yeah!

34. Nagpunta ka ba sa infirmary nung minsang magkasakit ka?
--> One time... oh my poor pinky-toe....

35. May crush ka ba sa campus?
--> nagka-aminan pa kami... hahaha!!!

36. BF/GF?
--> missed my chances...

37. May balak kang mag-MS, PhD?
--> pwede rin

38. Anu-ano ang mga na-PE mo?
--> Lawn Tennis, Judo

39. Kamusta ang block niyo?
--> block R rocks!

40. Nakapanood ka na ng graduation?
--> sa future siguro gagawin ko...

41. Memorize mo ba ang Song for Mary?
--> uhuh

42. Memorize mo ba ang Fabilioh?
--> yup

43. E ang Halikinu?
--> oo

44. E ang blue eagle spelling?
--> obvious na ba na matagal na kong Atenista?

45. Member ka ng Team Ateneo?
--> yoko!

46. Sino paborito mong UAAP basketball player?
--> yung namatay dati tapos marami yung banner... what?... buhay pa siya? O_o

47. Nakaperfect ka na ba ng exam?
--> kaya ko naman sana pero di ko pinilit eh!

48. Ano ang ayaw mo sa Hell Week?
--> knowing the fact that it's no longer weird to lose sleep

49. Dito ka ba natuto uminom ng beer?
--> not really, beer isn't really my trip... Vodka anyone?

50. Dito ka ba nadevirginize?
--> nope!

51. Ano gusto mo sa school natin?
--> people and experiences

52. Ano ang ayaw mo?
--> the tuition fee

53. Bumili ka na ba sa A-shop?
--> di pa...

54. Maganda ba ID pic mo?
--> ang taba ko dati... grabe...

55. May ginawa ka na bang illegal sa loob ng [campus]?
--> hmm... trespassing?

56. Nakabili ka na ng gamit sa National Katips?
--> loads of times

57. Nakapag-Starbucks ka na ba sa Katips?
--> yeah... Seatle's Best rin!

sigh

Wed, 22 Mar 2006 12:02:49 GMT

alam ko na ang pangalan mo, pati address at telepono

sa daming kwentong umiikot, alam ko na rin ang mga ayaw mo.

ngunit lahat nang ito ay walang kahulugan

kung di rin lang ikaw ang matagpuan

ang pag-ibig ko ay walang saysay

kung 'di rin lang ikaw ang dahilan...

naaalala ko ang dati, magkasama hanggang hating gabi

'di bale na kung anong sabihin nila, habang buhay magtatabi.

ngunit lahat nang ito ay walang kahulugan

kung di rin lang ikaw ang matagpuan

ang pag-ibig ko ay walang saysay

kung 'di rin lang ikaw ang dahilan...

binabasa kita, malapit nang magkita, isinusuri ko ang mga letra...

ngunit lahat nang ito ay walang kahulugan

kung 'di rin lang ikaw ang katapusan!

ang pag-ibig ko ay walang saysay

kung 'di rin lang ikaw ang dahilan...

'di rin lang ikaw ang dahilan...

It's the small stuff in life that counts.

Fri, 17 Mar 2006 15:20:06 GMT

This March 15, the so-called ides of March, will be a day I shall remember to be different.
No... that's not the word I'm looking for... it's more like... refreshing.
This Friday too was very memorable. I was glad to see familiar faces again.

Right out from week after week of fiascoes and heartaches, it was nice to enjoy the small things in life again.

Last Wednesday was an eventful day full of things out of the ordinary.
Well, I might have missed some things of note along the way because of my mindset of late...
Maybe it just went out of focus because of too much focus on another thing... umm... rather... on someone.
About that someone... I never got the clarification I wanted... never got myself to try and chat...
I couldn't make the wind blow in my direction... it blew me to some other path.

I had planned day to be unusual from the start.
Today was going to be the day where my groupmates and I would visit outside libraries.
It was really an entertaining thought... to go out with two female classmates of mine.

I had to cut both my classes today in order to accommodate both my classmate's schedules.
I still went to school early though in order to talk with Che.
She walked by... and yet I tried to think that she wasn't there.
At least she did the same thing... fair trade...
It was a good thing that my first prof for the day was absent and the substitute was also my next class' prof.
I talked to my prof and told her that I won't be attending class today.
I had to say goodbye to my only class with perfect attendance...
She just asked me to sit in with the class right then and finish some coding to be done today.
Guess my early arrival at school wasn't all for naught.

I then had to contact my groupmates regarding our trip.
I asked a classmate of mine, Myra, if she had already received a message from my groupmate Isah.
Since there was none yet, I asked for her number and decided to borrow from another cel from a classmate of mine in order to inquire about it because Myra's was out of load.
And as I was looking at her number, a message was received. Sure enough, it was from her asking where I am.
Coincidences like this stirs up a funny feeling inside.
I replied that I would be cutting my classes today and asked for her location.

That morning I had brought some casual clothes with me to get out of the uniform we have here in school once I was going outside.
It sure made my bag all heavy, but I had brought it with me the previous Monday though I never got to use it. That was the Monday that turned out to be a wreck.
I proceeded to change before meeting them. Afterwards I said some goodbyes to my classmates and went out to meet up with my two groupmates.

When I arrived, I told Isah and Valerie that we needed a referral from our head librarian in order to go to either the libraries of Ateneo and UP.
And that meant going back to school. I could just imagine myself with a large sweat drop on my forehead for not doing it earlier.
Isah said that she had to go answer something first in her old school before proceeding, so since we had to get a referral she said that me and Valerie could handle it while she went to her school first.
We would then meet up later in BF Drug, the drugstore near the tricycle stop in Commonwealth Ave.

And so that left me alone with Valerie... This really doesn't happen much... not even with anyone else... 'cept maybe during some vacant hours with Myra...
At the school gate, we were stopped by our resident lady guard. It appears that no uniform no entry was being enforced.
Though normally she'd let us pass, if I were her and she's got the head of security behind her, I'd stop me too.

To think that I had changed just around 10 minutes ago... sheesh...
Valerie was wearing her NSTP shirt then so she wasn't eligible to enter either.
The guard suggested that we change back into uniform so that we could get through.
Val won't be able to find a place to change back into her blouse right there except for the gate guardhouse. And she didn't take it.
As for me... it was the only viable place to change. And so with a bit of effort, I did.

After going to the lib, I could only just smile to Val and say that we'd be getting the referral tomorrow.
So that meant we won't be going to any campus today. What a surprise.

We then rode a trike in order to go to BF Drug.
I told the the guy who was sitting on the back trike to go there.
He said "ok, sure... I'll go tell the driver where you're going... I'm just a passenger too..."
Stupid me...
Valerie said she thought he was the driver too...
Well then, stupid us...

When we got there, I paid for us both. It would mean easier change for a twenty.
The gentleman effect was a factor too. =)

We decided to look inside the drugstore and see if Isah was already there.
As we were going in, two salesladies/freebie barkers tried to convince us to test this new energy drink.
I tried a shot... it was a bit more syrupy than other brands...
One of ladies then said "Sir, bigyan rin po niyo yung girlfriend niyo."

(O_O) (O_O)

(o_O) -------- (O_o)

(^_^) (^_^)

We left the store a few minutes later... right after cooling off and watching more people being offered the drink.
I then told her that I still hadn't taken lunch yet.
Val then told me to go eat someplace while we're still waiting.
She led me to the calenderia beside the drugstore.
Her choice was fine with me...
There I ate a quick meal and afterwards we started sharing stories and stuff...
We sat there waiting for our groupmate for close to an hour.
Along the way we decided to make our research topic to be about the Mass Transportation System in the Philippines.
Well... she did say it was going to be fun if we get to ride the MRT sometime.

When Isah arrived, I also told her that we won't be able to go to UP or Ateneo right then.
Isah then suggested to go to Quezon City Hall Library instead.
And so we went there.

The main quad of QC Hall looked like a very busy place... much like a carnival.
People were zipping along to all directions. Some of them were waiting in line.
Stalls were all over the place. Paper were littered on the floor.
Overall it was all exciting and fun. Unless you considered paying taxes as a chore.
I amused myself in thinking that one day, the three of us would also end up paying taxes and stuff like them.
Right now, the thought seemed not too far away.

We found a lot of useful thesises (or was it thesii...) in the library. We stayed there until closing time, which was at 5 pm.

Before going home, we ate at a mobile stall of Jollibee. Isah was quick to order a burger and a drink, but then she saw a shawarma stand...
I then adopted her order, so that it wouldn't go to waste. I paid for it as she went and ordered a shawarma.

At one point, I stood up from the table we occupied to see how Isah was doing waiting for her order.
I took my burger in hand. Valerie was touring the other stalls then...
When I got back, the table got cleaned up... along with my drink... =(
Good thing that when I reported it to the Jollibee stall, they replaced it. Now that's good service!
While eating, we decided to go research again this Friday once the referrals were done.
Afterwards, we went back to the jeepney stop to go home.

While going there, it was cute to see people all walking by and going about their lives.
Some people were even taking pictures as though they were in some park.
Whatever way you look at it... life simply is amazing.

Thursday was pretty much so-so. It pained me at the end of the day to realize that I have not cleared up anything with Cheryl.
I just feel heavy each time either of us walks by.

I don't want to feel that way.

This Friday was the day my group and I continued our research.
I had come to school early yet again and managed to catch-up with some friends during their spare time.
I waited outside school for Valerie and Isah to arrive. I was fortunate to see Che too, though nothing ever happened.

We then rode to UP, then went to Ateneo via UP-IKOT and Katipunan.

We didn't have a hard time going inside campus. I think we were fortunate to have had a old and nice gate guard who immediately listened to us that we were going to the library.
It was a new experience for my two friends. Campus culture in the Ateneo is way different than that of ours.

We had to pay 30 pesos for our library admission. Never knew that rule before today.

Overall, it was nice to see old HS classmates like Rene and Jona again.
Same thing for my old blockmates Jill, Dette and Hera.

The Ateneo is a place I will remember all my life.

There will also be a lot of people who will always be dear to me.

I'm just glad life made it possible to see them all again.

I'm also happy that I'm able to have new people to enjoy company with, here at my time in FEU.

I'm thankful that life goes on the way it is.

Quotable quote for the moment:
"Sir, bigyan rin po niyo yung girlfriend niyo."

Tears and fears for the ides of March

Tue, 14 Mar 2006 23:25:50 GMT

Last Friday, I pulled a stunt that may seem laughable.
As of now, I'm in unknown territory.
I just feel to uneasy, that's all.
Yet, try as I might, I can't even let the tears fall...
...even for the ides for March.

I weep not to Caesar, and I can't weep for myself...
They say crying can help ease burdens, but I'm burdened trying to cry.

The ides of March isn't over yet... and I have yet to be stabbed by Brutus.
Yes, it isn't over. All my woes can never drag me underneath this earth.

I shall never surrender as long as the sun rises in the east.
There may not be tears, but there still are fears.
Fears are ment to be overcome, and I shall overcome them.
But I just can't help thinking that I walk alone.

I don't want to be alone.
It's that simple.
Yet I am.
Alone.
Lone.
One.

I'll just bank on my hope that the winds will change today.
I will make it blow towards my destination.

I will.

(",)

Wed, 08 Mar 2006 14:28:27 GMT

I'm just glad to know I've made you smile.

sound and fury signifying nothing

Tue, 07 Mar 2006 11:05:42 GMT

nothing can come from nothing as nothing results to nothing.

damn... I feel like nothing.

But I'm sure someday I'll laugh at this moment as if it's nothing.

Nothing at all.

I just feel there's nothing else more important besides y...um... just nothing...

edit:

heh!

Guess it was nothing after all!

Nothing can keep me down today!

Atenista ka ba?

Sat, 04 Mar 2006 07:28:04 GMT

(x) eat at Manang’s
(x) learn the alma mater
( ) get on the dean’s list
(x) sleep on a bench
( ) be a TNT!
( ) jog around the campus in the evening
(x) visit the art gallery
( ) know at least one xerox lady, manong, or technician by name
(x) get a Jesuit for a teacher
(x) itch from higad bites
(x) have gotten an F in something
(x) have taken a crap in school (HAHAHAHAHA)
(x) watch a La Salle vs. Ateneo UAAP game
(x) give a powerpoint presentation
(x) study in the caf upstairs
(x) watch a T.A. play
(x) sit on the SEC ledge and watch the stars
(x) eat in Full House, Martha’s Kitchen, and Ken Afford
(x) sleep in the lib
(x) visit Mr. San Andres
(x) go to the chapel
(x) have gotten a pebble stuck in your shoe/slippers in the middle of the quad
(x) cut class with your block to watch a movie
(x) sign up for those institutional (i.e. difficult but brilliant) teachers
( ) go to CERSA night
(x) have tried siomai rice
( ) learn how to smoke
(x) fall in love
(x) actually read the book you keep borrowing from the lib
(x) play cards during your free time
(x) dress in business attire
(x) learn to stay awake for more than 24 hours straight
( ) have gotten side comments from ASSOC
( ) take (and enjoy) Saturday classes
( ) go to your immersion
(x) eat Food for After Thought sandwiches
( ) get a boyfriend/girlfriend
(x) take time to read the vandalism in the CR doors
(x) watch “Minsan Lang Sila Bata” and “Macho Dancer” for class
(x) do a last minute paper
(x) have spent a lot for 1x1 ID pictures
( ) get exempted from final exams
(x) attend a college mass
( ) promise to quit smoking
( ) play hide-and-seek in the mini-forest
(x) know where the best restrooms are on campus
( ) join an org
(x) allow yourself to make mistakes
(x) take summer classes
(x) admire the sacred heart statue in the evening
(x) make a video for a project
( ) have a crush on a teacher
(x) attend a Jesuit retreat
( ) have gotten a parking ticket
(x) come to school in your crappiest yet most comfy clothes
(x) learn how to use the Bayantel pay phones
(x) participate in school activities
(x) catch the Blue Babble Battalion tryouts
(x) ride a tricycle on campus
(x) find a tambayan
(x) admire the marikina valley at night
(x) go drinking along Katipunan
(x) learn how to beg for a higher grade
(x) use your cuts wisely
( ) volunteer to be class beadle
(x) had the worst lottery schedule for reg
(x) admire the trees on campus
(x) have forgotten about your freecut and gone to that class
(x) eat in the ISO canteen
(x) be active in your org
(x) have signed up on an ACP class just because the girl or guy u like signed up for it
( ) get as many app forms as you can during the job fair
(x) learn how to cram
(x) sell tickets (or watch) an org-sponsored movie premiere
( ) save money to Xerox all of your seatmate’s notes
(x) have accidentally seen a make-out session
(x) check out the Meron Lagoon and Lambingan Bridge
( ) have dozed off in class in Bel right after a class in CTC/SOM/Comm. Bldg or vice-versa
(x) learn how to work with groupmates from hell
( ) perfect the art of parking on campus
( ) had a bad encounter with one of the guards on campus
(x) develop a love for sisig
(x) learn how to pronounce “AEGIS” properly
(x) have used typing rooms at the library
(x) have reserved a classroom, AVR, etc. for a class or org function
( ) have asked the library for an endorsement to research in other libraries
( ) have lost a perfectly functioning umbrella
(x) have used consultation hours properly
(x) Looked forward to lab breakage refund, in case you didn’t break any equipment
(x) visit the Guidance Office
(x) and Infirmary

Lost Letter

Fri, 03 Mar 2006 04:28:56 GMT

Dear Cheryl,

I hope you get this early, 'cause I don't really know whether you open your e-mail frequently or not.
Anyways, here goes nothing...

Do you know the feeling of missing someone badly? About someone you don't really expect?
Lately I've gotten this weird feeling... and it doesn't really take much analysis to know that it's about you.
It's so confusing, confounding, perplexing, mystifying and bewildering.
Hope you could add more words to that because I can't really explain anything about it.
I just don't get it.
How could it have happened?

I've only really got to know you during the second sem.
I find it funny that, now that I think about it, you were my classmate in most of my subjects back then but yet...
...I did even have a single good conversation with you.
Well, I probably didn't even try to. I'm not that talkative of a person anyway.

I had this vauge sense of loss and lonliness last Christmas break.
My thoughts seemed to be racing back to you.

After a week of classes I felt crushed to find out I won't have a decent chance to get close to you.
It felt like I've just been shut out by a door.

Now that you're not my classmate anymore, I miss you, yet at that time I wasn't really that sure why.

Maybe it's true when they say that you only get to understand how important something is when it's gone.
Why is it always like that? Hope you could help me on this one.

I got to know you through all the little things others say.
Well, people say that we are what others see us to be.
Wait... WOW... I've actually paired you through a pronoun...
I was writing too heavily that I had to lighten up the mood.
Ok, back to topic.

I have this belief that life is all about the little things.
They are the details that create the bigger picure.

I remember Sir. Go would sometimes say that you should participate in Miss FERN.
I really find that notebook with Sakura and Syaoran really cute.
........................................................................................I think you're cute.
I'm glad that I had the chance to help you in your newsreport when no one liked to hold your manila paper.
I am grateful that you let me know what we were supposed to do in Ptools when I would ask.
That pic you used in the powerpoint quiz with you playing a guitar was kawaii!
I saw that you are a very nice person when you would help others with their schematic diagrams.
I forgot to thank you for doing the schematic diagrams for Jods and me. Thank you.
I couldn't help but smile when you did the same thing I did in a picture before.
I find it funny that you always tend to get caught with closed eyes in most pictures.
Did you know I was the one who provided your house number to your groupmates when they had to practice?
I now feel proud and glad to have done that.
Those two Spitz you have are pretty well kept.
It was fun to be the DJ with a remote!
Sorry if I wasn't that hospitable when you went to my house. It was just too impromptu for me to prepare.
Hope you didn't find the walk from my house to be long.
When there's a chance, you're welcome to stroll around my subdivision.
Remember what Ian said about I wanted to give someone a valentines card? It was supposed to be you.
Sorry if I didn't get to give anything at all back then.
I was afraid that you would probably recieve one from someone else. Maybe you did.
I still wonder why you didn't have any debut on your birthday.
I hope you still enjoyed your day though.
I still think that 1 pack of tortillias and 1 bottle of C2 isn't enough of a blowout.
You sing well.
Glad to have been a part of Senti World with you!
You'll learn to swim someday. I would teach you if I can.
Keep on respecting your relatives! Even if you can't recall their names!
Thank you for letting me borrow your English book and reviewer.
I like that angel you drew and used as a cover. It reminds me of you.
It's true when I say that you draw and color very well.
What did you use to color it by the way?
Took me 2 days to find the correspondence of the hiragana characters to the alphabet.
What was his name doing on that page? Uyyy!!!
If he doesn't look back, I'm here. But I'm also prepared to let go.
Yes... I know he's not the name written there.
You'll find what you're looking for someday!
Hope you got to read what I wrote down on that note.
Sorry, if I'm adding to your confusion.
Could you teach me how you write the letters F and H using it sometime?
It really troubled me to see you with your eyes watering like that...
I couldn't even ask about it.
It's a good thing that you stood up for what is right.
You're really such a dramatic person... maybe you should try acting!
You could just laugh about it now that it's set right!
Hope your tonsils get better, so that it won't be much of a pain.

Well, those are the little things that probably made me feel this way for you.

I will have to admit, I feel like I doing this too late.

Whenever I get to talk with you, I feel that you listen deeply to what I say, or to what anyone says for that matter.
Please listen to what I have been trying to say through this entire letter of mine.
Try to get the bigger picture.
You know what it is.

Hope you understand.
Hope this isn't much of a burden.
Hope I still have a chance.
Hope to see you soon!

Keep shining on like the star that you are!

Keep on smiling that smile of yours even through all the hardships that you hide.
Well, it takes one to know one. I do that too.
I could sense you have a lot of things in your mind most of the time.
But still, keep on smiling! You're pretty cute when you do that.

Inspiration

Tue, 17 Jan 2006 20:19:27 GMT

Having something to look up upon, look forward to or to literally aspire for really does make going through life much easier. Our inspiration somehow makes us magically neglect problems as it overshadows and encompasses everything else in our lives. It gives us the drive to strive harder and the will to go on.

What if one day you realize that you no longer have an inspiration in life?

As for me I search for one. I know its there. I just have to be patient.

Sometimes you soon realize that what you have been searching for was there all along and all along I had just failed to give it enough notice.

I have also set some goals in life and am now determined to make them.

As for immediate goals, I would like be with whom I've realized to be the one I've been looking for all this time.

I shall not back out or just forget it. Nothing shall break my resolve.

I shall not let the opportunity pass by. I feel that I love her. I will not cage it up.

I'd rather take rejection over the guilt of inaction. And I'll do my best not to be rejected.

If I will be pricked by this rose so be it. I won't let go until I know the outcome of my actions.

I am confident in myself that it will turn out fine. Time will tell.

It's kinda funny that I realize all this right after the break. I guess it's true when they say that we see their importance when they're gone.

Sure, in the past sem I had been her classmate and that unfortunately now this sem it isn't. I'm not letting it hinder me.

In writing this I am trying to muster up courage. If there be support, it is welcome.

I will never again make the mistake of acting it only in my mind. The time for action is now.

        .     . 
    ...  :``..': 
     : ````.'   :''::' 
   ..:..  :     .'' : 
 ``.    `:    .'     : 
    :    :   :        : 
     :   :   :         : 
     :    :   :        : 
      :    :   :..''''``::. 
       : ...:..'     .'' 
       .'   .'  .::::' 
      :..'''``::::::: 
      '         `:::: 
		  `::. 
		   `:: 
		    :::. 
	 ..:```.:'`. ::'`. 
       ..'      `:.: :: 
      .:        .:``::: 
      .:    ..''     ::: 
       : .''          :: 
	:             :: 
		       : 
			:

It makes me smile to know that,

I've finally found you.

Thu, 15 Sep 2005 18:48:36 GMT

Kiss from a Rose by Seal

There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea.
You became the light on the dark side of me.
Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill.

But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and
The light that you shine can be seen.

Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh,The more I get of you,
Stranger it feels, yeah.
And now that your rose is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the grave.

There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say.
You remain,
My power, my pleasure, my pain, baby
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny.
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby?

But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and
The light that you shine can be seen.

Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh, the more I get of you
Stranger it feels, yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the grave,

I've been kissed by a rose on the gray,
I've been kissed by a rose
I've been kissed by a rose on the gray,
...And if I should fall along the way
I've been kissed by a rose
...been kissed by a rose on the gray.

There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say.
You remain
My power, my pleasure, my pain.
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny, yeah
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby.

But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and
The light that you shine can be seen.

Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh, the more I get of you
Stranger it feels, yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom,
A light hits the gloom on the grave.

Yes I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
Ooh, the more I get of you
Stranger it feels, yeah
And now that your rose is in bloom
A light hits the gloom on the grave
Now that your rose is in bloom,
A light hits the gloom on the grave.

        .     . 
    ...  :``..': 
     : ````.'   :''::' 
   ..:..  :     .'' : 
 ``.    `:    .'     : 
    :    :   :        : 
     :   :   :         : 
     :    :   :        : 
      :    :   :..''''``::. 
       : ...:..'     .'' 
       .'   .'  .::::' 
      :..'''``::::::: 
      '         `:::: 
		  `::. 
		   `:: 
		    :::. 
	 ..:```.:'`. ::'`. 
       ..'      `:.: :: 
      .:        .:``::: 
      .:    ..''     ::: 
       : .''          :: 
	:             :: 
		       : 
			:

*sigh* I sure wish that a rose would kiss me.

nothing much...

Sat, 20 Aug 2005 04:57:12 GMT

I've just found out today that yesterday, August 19, was the day I made this Lj account. This means that it was also the first full year of this blog/journal/rant space/waste of bandwidth! Amazing isn't it?

Yesterday was also the day I sat for the longest time in my life in a single jeep. It was probably the furthest too. The whole trip lasted for around an hour and a half, from Fransisco Homes (which is waaayy past Novaliches) to my stop at Sandiganbayan in Q.C. I paid 28 pesos (student's fare!) and arrived home at 9:00. Still, I think the trip was worth it, though that's another matter entirely.

Overall, life's fine. These little things that happen everyday makes me look forward to waking up every morning and thank God too.

A little something for patriotism

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 14:15:29 GMT

Not much of an entry but it still is something.
This is a script I made for Linggo ng Wika, about the fall of Bonifacio.
An interesting read if you're willing to finish it.

ACT 1
Scene 1: Imbitasyon sa Cavite
Montalban, Desyembre 1896
(Sa isang bundok sa Montalban)
Nakikitang naghahada ang Supremo na umalis
Procopio:    Kapatid, kailangan mo ba talagang magtungo sa Cavite tulad ng sabi ng mensaherong Magadalong iyon?
Andres:     Bagamat labag sa loob ko, naniniwala ako na ito’y para sa ikabubuti ng ating samahan. Hindi natin dapat ipagkakaila ang halaga ng pagkakaisa lalung-lalo na sa panahon natin ngayon. Kung ang aking pagpapakita at pakikipag-usap ay ang siyang makapagpapahilom sa namumuong hidwaan sa pagitan nating mga Magdiwang at sa mga Magdalo, ito’y gagawin ko.
Procopio:    Sige, gawin mo ang gusto mo.
Ciriaco:    Sandali nga muna, hindi ba dapat si Emilio Jacinto ang mangangatawan sating grupo?
Andres:    May sakit siya kaya’t kailangan niya ng pahinga, at bilang Supremo, may karapatan din akong pangatawanan ang siyang grupong aking binuo.
Ciriaco:     May punto ka doon kapatid, pero papano na si Ka Oriang?
Andres:    Ang aking asawa… isasasama ko na rin siya. Siguradong magagalak niyang malaman na pupunta kami sa Cavite.
Procopio:    Tawagin ko na nga siya para malaman niya. (lilingon)
    Ka Oriang! Halika’t may sasabihin itong kapatid ko sayo.
Gregoria:    (habang naglalakad) Ano naman ito, huwag na huwag mo sabihing mag-eempake na naman ako. Palagi na lang kasi tayong palipat-lipat ng kuta. Wala na ata tayong napagtatagalang lugar ngayon eh. Oh, ano yun?
Andres:    Ah… um, Aalis kasi ako papuntang Cavite. Aanyayahan sana kitang sumama. Huwag ka nang mag-alala at mas komportable doon at kung magkataon, baka matagalan pa tayo.
Gregoria:    Ganoon pala ah. Sabihin mo na lang na hindi ka makakagalaw nang wala ako. Di bale na’t pagbibigyan kita. Isama mo na lang ang gamit ko sa mga ini-empake mo diyan.
Maglalakad paalis si Gregoria habang napapatawa sina Procopio at Ciriaco
Procopio:    (nakaharap kay Ciriaco) Sino ba talaga ang pinuno dito?
Ciriaco:    Ewan ko ba, nalalaboan din ako eh.
Andres:    Tigilan nga niyong dalawa yan, ipapadala ko kayo doon sa madaming Espanyol. Madukot sana kayo ng mga Guwadia Sibil! …Teka teka, alam ko na kung anong gagawin ko sa inyong dalawa!
Procopio & Ciriaco: Ano yun?
Andres:    Sasama kayo sakin!
Procopio & Ciriaco: Bakit naman?
Andres:    Sino ba Supremo dito ah? Bilis maghanda na kayo! Mauunahan na kayo ng bagong taon sa bagal niyong yan.

Scene 2: Pagbati ng mga Magdalo
Cavite, Desyembre 1896
(Sa tapat ng bahay ni Aguinaldo)
Nakikitang naglalakad ang magkakapatid na Bonifacio kasama sina Gregoria at iba pang Magdiwang patungo sa pinto ng isang makalumang bahay. Merong dalawang guardiyang nakatayo sa harap nito.
Guardiyang Magdalo #1: ‘tol, pano ka nasama dito sa Katipunan?
Guardiyang Magdalo #2: Di sa nagmamayabang pero, si Heneral Aguinaldo ang nag-anyaya sakin.
Guardiyang Magdalo #1: Ows? Ang swerte mo naman.
Guardiyang Magdalo #2: Malaki ang utang na loob nating lahat sa kanya dahil siya ang nagpalaya ng Cavite sa hawak ng mga mapanupil na Español.
Guardiyang Magdalo #1: Oo, hindi katulad ni Bonifacio na natalo doon sa Pinaglabanan. Biruin mo, nakuha na nga nila yung imbakan ng armas, natalo pa rin sila ng mga Español!
Guardiyang Magdalo #2: Tama ka, si Heneral Aguinaldo ang karapat-dapat na pinuno ng ating itatatag na republika.
Mapapalingon ang mga guardya nang nakarinig sila ng mga boses
Gregoria:    Ito na ba yun? Sa wakas makakapagpahinga na rin.
Ciriaco:    Oo nga, ang ganda rito.
Procopio:     Hmph, sosyal ‘tong mga Magdalo ah. Putsa ko kapag napilitan silang magtago sa mga bundok o gubat, hindi sila makakatagal.
Andres:    Hoy, nanahimik na nga kayo. Ipaalam na nga natin na nandito na tayo.
(Lalapit sa Andres sa mga guwardya)
Andres:    Magandang hapon sa inyong dalawa, handa na ba ang aming mga gagamiting kwarto rito?
Guardiyang Magdalo #2: Sino ka?
Andres:    Ako si Andres. Di niyo ba ako nakikilala? Mga Katipunero pa man din kayo!
Guardiyang Magdalo #1: Andres… sinong Andres?
Andres:    Andres Bonifacio! Alias “May-Pagasa”! Ang pinuno ng Katipunan! Ang inyong Supremo!
Ang dalawang guwardya: Paumanhin po!
(Bubukas ang pinto at lalabas si Emilio Aguinaldo)
Andres:    O, Aguinaldo! (sabay yakap sa kanya) Ang ganda na ng porma mo ah.
Emilio:    Salamat kaibigan. Mukhang pagod na kayo sa inyong paglalakbay, halina pumasok na kayo at marami tayong paguusapan tunkol sa kinabukasan ng Katipunan.
Gregoria:    Huwag na natin siyang paghintayin, halika na at nananakit na itong mga paa ko!
(kukuha siya ng gamit na bitbit ni Andres at paasok sa loob)
Procopio & Circiaco: (mapapatawa)
Gregoria:    (sisigaw galing sa loob ng bahay) Hoy! Kayo diyan, magkasilbi nga kayo at tulungan niyo kong mag-tanggal ng gamit.
Procopio:    Ano kamo? Papasok na tayo diyan sa pugad ng mga Magdalo?
Ciriaco:     Huwag ka nang magreklamo, mukha namang may nakahandang pagkain doon sa loob eh.
(Papasok sina Procopio at Circiaco kasama ang mga ibang Magdiwang sa loob)
Andres:     Naalala ko dati ako ang nag-imbita sayo dati doon sa bahay ko sa Tondo. Doon ka pa nga nanumpa bilang Katipunero sa akin eh.
Emilio:     Alam mo naman kung ano yung paguusapan natin dito kasama ng ibang mga deligado di ba?
Andres:     Siyempre naman, nandito ako para ipakita na nag-kakaisa pa rin tayong mga Katipunero kahit maging Magdiwang ka man o Mapagtiis o kaya’t Magdalo.
Emilio:     Hindi lang iyon kaibigan, paguusapan rin natin ang magiging gobyerno para sa ating malayang Pilipinas.
Andres:    Bakit pa? Nandito naman ang Katipunan. Wala naman akong problema sa takbo ng systema natin sa kasalukuyan.
Emilio:    Naniniwala ako na kailangan ng pagbabago upang tayo’y umunlad. Mas makakabuti siguro kapag gumawa tayo ng isang rebosusyonariong pamahalaan na halintulad sa systema ng mga Amerikano.
Andres:     Pagbabago? Nasasagot pa rin ng Katipunan ang pagbabagong kinakailangan ng lipunan. Meron na nga tayong mga sariling batas at kartilya. Hindi pa kailangan ibahin ang Katipunan.
(may lalapit na mensahero kay Emilio Aguinaldo at may ibubulong)
Andres:    Ano yun? Nilulusob na ba tayo ng mga Español?
Emilio:     Papalapit daw ilang mga sundalo ng Españya sa may dakong Dasmariñas. Tutungo ako roon ngayon upang panatiliing ligtas ang magiging pulong dito.
Andres:    Naks, bumalik ka ng buhay ah.
Emilio:     Asahan mo yun, kaibigan. Sa ngayon, paalam na at sana’y masiyahan kayo dito sa paninirahan ninyo sa Cavite.
(Aalis ang mensahero at si Aguinaldo habang tinitignan ni Andres)
Andres:    Pagbabago… hindi ako sang-ayon diyan sa pagbabago. Ako ang Supre…
Gregoria:    (sisigaw galing sa loob ng bahay) Hoy! Ano ba tinatayu-tayo mo diyan, pasok ka na! Bahala ka nga, kung maunahan ka sa mga kama e di matulog ka sa swelo.
Ang dalawang guwardya: (mapapatawa pero mananahimik kaagad)
(Papasok na si Andres sa pinto at isasara ito)

Scene 3: Pulong sa Tejeros
Tejeros, Marso 1897
Nakikita ang maraming tao na nagtitipon-tipon sa isang mahabang lamesa
Andres:    Manuod na lang kayo dito ah, ako nang bahala dito sa pulong.
Ciriaco:     Ikaw pa rin ang kinikilalang Supremo, alalahanin mo yun.
Gregoria:    Oo, huwag kang padadala sa kanila.
Procopio:    Panay mga Caviteño ang nandito, puro mga Magdalo.
Andres:    Tama ka, Tanglaw, pero mga Katipunero parin sila.
Ciriaco:    Uy, di ba yun si Josephine Bracken! Yung asawa ni Rizal.
(makikita ni Andres si Josephine Bracken, ang asawa ni Rizal)
Gregoria:    Alalahanin mo na asawa mo ko ha, baka manligaw ka pa.
Procopio:    Kung gagawin mo nga yun, akin na lang itong si Ka Oriang! (sabay akbay kay Gregoria)
(aapakan ni Gregoria ang paa ni Procopio, tutungo naman si Andres kay Josephine)
Andres:    Huwag ka nang mamighati, dama ng buong Katipunan ang pagkawala ng iyong irog.
Josephine: (napapaluha) I just can’t believe that he’s gone.
Andres:    Ang nakaraan ay tapos na, pagtuonan natin ang kasalukuyan at ang kinabukasan. Maalala pa rin naman si Rizal bilang isang magiting na tao na hindi takot na mamatay para sa inang bayan.
Josephine: Yes, that’s true. I just miss him so much. Oh, I almost forgot, Have you already translated Rizal’s last poem?
Andres:    Meron akong kopya dito ngayon, ikakalat ko ito sa Katipunan para magsilbing inspirasyon ng lahat. Gagayahin namin ang tapang ni Rizal.
Josephine: Thank you, I will pray for your welfare and of our nations.
Andres:     Walang anuman.
Ciriaco:    Maguumpisa na pulong tapos botohan na. Punta ka na sa may lamesa.
(mananahimik at magsisiaayos ang mga tao)
Andres:     Bago pa man natin simulan ang pulong, ipinaaalala ko na dapat nating galangin ang disisyon ng mayorya at gagalangin rin natin kung sino man ang mailuluklok sa posisyon.
(magbobotohan ang mga kasapi ng pulong at mag kakaroon ng bilangan)
*pagkatapos ng bilangan*
Member of the Tejeros Convention: Ayon sa ating bilangan, ang ating magiging pangulo ay walang iba kundi si Emilio Aguinaldo ng Cavite!
(palakpakan ang mga Magdalo habang mahina na pumapalakpak ang mga Magdiwang)
Procopio:    Ang galing naman nitong si Aguinaldo, wala na nga siya dito nanalo pa.
Ciriaco:     Pabayaan mo na yun, magaling naman talaga siya eh.
Member of the Tejeros Convention: Ang ating napiling ikalawang pangulo naman ay si Mariano Trias!
(Tatayo si Trias at papalakpakan)
Member of the Tejeros Convention: At ang hinirang bilang Kalihim Panglooban naman ay si Andres Bonifacio ng Tondo!
(palakpakan ang mga Magdiwang, pero biglang tatayo si Daniel Tirona)
Daniel:    Hindi siya abogado!
(tinginan ang lahat ng nasa pulong)
Daniel:    Ang posisyon na Kalihim Panglooban ay isang kagalag-galang na posisyon na nararapat lamang sa isang taong nakapagtapos bilang abogado, kung maaari ang aking kapwa Magdalo na lang na si…
Andres:    Bawiin mo ang sinabi mo!
Daniel:    Ngunit totoo ang sinabi ko. Mas makakabuti sa ating bansa na nagtapos sa abogasya ang Kalihim Panglooban.
Andres:    Di ba sinabi ko nung una na igagalang natin ang sinumang maihahalal!? Bingi ka ba o sadyang hindi kayang intindihin ng kokote mo ang sinabi ko!?
Daniel:    Ka-barangay ko yung abogado, siya na lang sana ang…
(tatayo at itututok ni Andres ang kanyang revolver kay Daniel)
Andres:    Tumigil ka na sa pag-iinsulto at bawiin mo na ang sinabi mo!
Daniel:    Magaling na abogado ang kilala ko at…
Andres:    Manahimik ka na!
(Pipigilan ni Ciriaco si Andres na gusto nang barilin si Daniel)
Ciriaco:    Tama na! Huninahon na kayo!
Andres:    Ako pa rin ang Supremo ng Katipunan! At bilang Supremo, ipinapawalang bisa ko ang lahat ng mga naganap dito!
(Tatalikod si Andres at maglalakad palabas)
Andres:    Hilika na, Magdiwang! Aalis na tayo.
(Lumabas ang mga tapat ka Andres)

END OF ACT 1

Interlude:
Narration:
Makalipas ang pulong sa Tejeros, nagtipon muli ang mga naiwan doon kinabukasan at iniluklok na sa pwesto si Emilio Aguinaldo bilang unang pangulo ng Republika ng Pilipinas. Hindi ito kinilala ni Andres Bonifacio. Pakalipas ng isang buwan, nagtatag ng sariling pamahalaan si Andres Bonifacio na ginanap niya sa Naic. Tinignan naman ito ng pamahalaan ni Aguinaldo bilang isang akto ng paghihimagsik. Pinayuan ni Henaral Pio del Pilar at Heneral Mariano Noriel si Emilio Aguinaldo na dakpin si Andres Bonifacio bago pa man siya makaalis ng Cavite. Isang hadlang na raw kasi si Andres Bonifacio na kailangang tanggalin. Kaya nung pagkabalik ni Emilio Aguinaldo mula sa Montalban, inutusan niya si Colonel Agapito Bonzon na hulihin si Andres Bonifacio.

ACT 2
Scene 4: Laban sa Limbon
Indang, Abril 1897
Nasa loob ng guardiyadong kubo ang pamilya Bonifacio
*ad-lib* dialogue to be inserted following the scene outline:

•    The Bonifacio family is shown to be tense.
•    Gunshots are heard outside, the perimeter guards fall down
•    Colonel Agapito Bonzon tells them that they are surrounded
•    The Magdiwangs put up a fight against the Magdalos
•    The Magdalos raid the house
•    Agapito fires at Andres and hits his left arm
•    Procopio is wounded, He is hit with the butt of the rifle on his nose
•    Ciriaco is killed.
•    Major Jose Ignatio Paua then stabs Andres at the side of his neck.
•    Andres and Procopio is then taken to Naic by Major Paua
•    Gregoria is tied up to a tree and then raped by Agapito

Scene 5: Consejo de Guerra
Maragondon, Mayo 8, 1897
Makikita sina Andres at Procopio na nililitis sa isang korte
(maririnig ang pag-pukpok ng judge)
Colonel Pedro Lipana (Judge): Ipinapayagan na humarap ang saksi ng prosekusyon.
Guardiyang Magdalo #1: Your honor, binayaran ho ako ni Andres Bonifacio ng halagang sampung piso upang patayin si Pangulong Emilio Aguinaldo.
Andres:    Hindi kita kilala!
Judge:    Order! Order!
Guardiyang Magdalo #1: Dahil alam ho niya na guardya ako sa pamamahay ni pangulong Aguinaldo, hindi ako mapagsusupetsahan sa pagdala ng baril sa loob ng bahay. Binyaran ako ng sampung piso nung umaga noong ika-31 ng Desyembre.
Andres:    Sinungaling ka!
Jugde:     Order!
Guardiang Magdalo #1: Yun lang po, your honor.
(tatayo ang Prosecutor sa si Jose Elises)
Jose:    Your honor, malinaw naman marahil na talagang tinangka nina Andres Bonifacio na patayin ang ating magiging pangulo. Buti na lang at tapat kay Aguinaldo ang nabayaran niya. Sa aktong ginawa ni Bonifacio, kitang-kita na hangad niyang pabagsakin ang ating gobyerno. Hindi pa niya nirespeto ang desisyon sa Pulong sa Tejeros na si Aguinaldo ang ating pangulo.
Andres:    Hindi niyo rin naman ako nirespeto noon ah!
Jose:    Tinutukan pa niya ng baril ang kawawang si Daniel Tirona. Siguro ay takot na takot na siya ngayon sa mga baril dahil sa shock na nakuha niya.
Andres:    Dakdak lang nga siya ng dakdak eh! Di man lang natinag sa mga sinasabi ko!
Jose:    Gumawa pa siya ng sariling pamahalaan niya. Maituturing natin itong parang isang coup-et-tat at masasabing isang akto ng paghihimagsik laban sa lehitimong gobyerno.
Andres: Naghihimagsik nga tayo laban sa mga Espanyol di ba?
Jose:    Ayaw pa niya magpahuli noong napaligiran na siya ng hukbo ni Colonel Bonzon. May mga namatay tuloy sa mga hukbo ng Colonel.
Andres:    Sila nga yung unang pumatay eh! Pati kapatid ko pinatay nila! Pinatay ninyo!
Jose:    Malinaw po, your honor, na nagkasala itong si Andres ng Paghihimagsik.
Itong si Procopio naman, sinusundan niya ang mga kahilingan nitong si Andres. Lumaban pa nga siya nung aarestuhin na sana si Andres. Siya ay isang importanteng instumento sa mga plano ni Andres. Dahil mukhang alam naman niya kung ano ang sinusundan niya, kita na nagkasala rin itong si Procopio. Yun lang po your honor. The Prosecution rests its case.
Judge:    Tinatawag ko ngayon ang saksi para sa depensa ng magkapatid na Bonifacio.
Gregoria: Wala ho silang planong patayin si pangulong Aguinaldo. Mabuting tao ho sila.
Jose:    Objection! Your honor, walang basehan ang pagsabi niya na mabuting tao sila. Ano ba ang ginagamit ng tao bilang basehan sa pagiging mabuti? Wala! Dahil iba-iba ang tigin natin sa pagiging mabuti.
Judge:    Objection noted. Meron pa bang idadagdag ang ating saksi?
(titingin ng masama si Colonel Bonzon kay Gregoria)
Gregoria: Wala na po, your honor.
(tatayo si Placido Martinez, ang abogado para kay Andres)
Placido:    Wala na po kaming idadagdag, your honor. The defence rests.
Andres:    Bakit!? Hindi man lang mo ako ipinagtanggol!
Placido:    Ganun talaga. Maghintay ka na kang.
Judge:    Kung ganoon, hintayan na lang natin ang verdict ng consejo…
(lalapit ang isang tao at may ibubulong) Ah! Meron na raw sila. Ang magkapatid na Andres at Procopio Bonifacio ay napatunayang nagkasala sa bintang na paghihimagsik at binibigan ng parusang bitay (pupukpok).
(iiyak sina Gregoria, makikipagkamayan sina Placido at Jose)
Judge:    Samantala, ikukulong sila habang hindi pa naipapatol sa kanila ang sentensya.
(ikukulong sina Andres at Procopio)

Scene 6: Consensya ni Aguinaldo
Naic, May 10, 1897
Nakikitang nakaupo si Aguinaldo kasama ni Mariano Noriel at Pio Del Pilar. May magbubulong kay Aguinaldo.
Emilio:    Anong ibig sabihin nito!? Hinatulan niyo ng kamatayan ang nagtatag ng Katipunan!?
Pio:    Isa siyang hadlang sa ating gobyerno. Naghimagsik siya laban sa atin at nakuha lang niya ngayon ang napala niya.
Emilio:    Bilang pangulo ng Republika ng Pilipinas, ibinababa ko ang hatol na kamatayan patungo na lang sa pagpapatapon sa malayong lugar.
Mariano: Ngunit nanganganib ang stabilidad ng ating gobyerno habang buhay pa siya. Mahahati ang Katipunan habang may mga pinunong malakas ang impluwensya tulad niya. Kapag wala na siya, aayos na ang daloy ng ating systema patungo sa pagbuo ng ating Republika ng Pilipinas.
Emilio:    Nakakasigurado ka ba na aayos ang ating sitwasyon kapag wala na siya?
Mariano: Oho, ganun nga ang aking paniniwala.
Emilio:     Pero siya ang Supremo ng Katipunan!
Pio:    Ngunit ikaw ang pangulo ng Pilipinas! Tayo ang lihitimong gobyerno ng bayan, samantalang ang Katipunan ay pawang mga rebolusyonario lamang.
Emilio:    …Kung ito talaga ay para sa ikabubuti ng bayan, ituloy niyo na ang pagbitay.
Mariano: Meron na akong nakahandang utos na naisulat ko sa isang liham. Ipatawag niyo na lang si Commandante Macapagal.
(Ibibigay ng Noriel ay isang liham kay Aguinaldo)
Emilio:    Heneral Del Pilar, ipatawag mo sakin si Commandante Lazaro Macapagal.
Pio:    Masusunod ho.
(Papasok si Macapagal sa kwarto)
Emilio:    Commandante, inuutusan kita at ang iyong mga tauhan na dalhin ang magkapatid na Bonifacio sa mga bundok ng Nagpatong at sundin ang utos na nakalagay dito sa liham na ito. (iniabot ang liham)
Lazaro:    Masusunod ho. (sabay saludo)
Emilio:    Dios ko, tama ba ito?

Scene 7: Pagpanaw ng Supremo
Maragondong, Mayo 10, 1897
Sinasamahan nila Commandante Macapagal at ng kanyang mga tauhan ang magkapatid na Bonifacio patungong Mt. Buntis.
Sundalong Magdalo: Ser, ano ba yung laman niyang liham na yan at bakit bitbit pa natin sila?
Lazaro:    Hindi ko pa talaga alam eh. Tumigil na kaya tayo at tignan na natin
Sundalong Magdalo: Gud ideya ser!
Lazaro:    Kawal! Halika’t basahin mo sakin ang laman ng liham.
Sundalong Magdalo: Mi ser? (iniabot ang liham sa kanya) Ahem…!
    G. Commandante L. Makapagal,
Alinsunod sa utos ng Consejo de Guerra na ginanap sa Maragondong noong ika-walo ng umaga, Mayo, laban sa magkapatid na sina Andres at Procopio Bonifacio, hinatulang barilin sila upang mamatay. Sa pamamagitan nito, kayo at mga kawal na nasa ilalim ng inyong kapangyarihan ay siyang nautusan upang gampanan ang nasabing hatol na barilin ang dalawang magkapatid.
Ipinatatalastas sa inyo, na sa anumang kapabayaan o kakulangan sa pagsunod sa utos na ito ay pananagutan niyo. Ipapatas sa inyo ang bisa at bigat ng mga kautusang nasaksi sa Codigo de Enjuni Ciamiento Militar Español.
Dios ang siyang mag-iingat sa inyo sa mahabang panahon.
Maragondong, 10 Mayo, 1897
Heneral Mariano Noriel
Lazaro:    Yan ang utos ko?
(napakinggan rin ito ng dalawang Bonifacio, kinuha na ni Lazaro ang kanyang revolver)
Lazaro:    (kay Procopio) Tumalikod ka na.
Procopio: (lumuhod at nagmamakaawa) Nangangailangan ako ng tulong ngayon at kailangan niyo rin ng tulong ngayong rebolusyon. Magkaisa na tayo nang sa ganoon….
Lazaro:    Inuulit ko, tumalikod ka na.
(habang nakaluhod, tatalikod si Procopio. Isasarado ni Lazaro ang kanyang mga mata at babaril ng limang beses)
Sundalong Magdalo:    Ser, may paparating na mga tao. Español ata, medyo malayo pa sila pero paparating satin.
(tinititigan ni Andres si Lazaro sa mata habang siya’y nagdadagdag ng bala)
Lazaro:    Tumalikod ka na.
Andres: …
Lazaro:    Tumalikod ka na. (tinutok niya na ang revolver)
Andres: …
Lazaro:    Sige na, tumalikod ka na sabi! (nagiginig na ang kanyang mga kamay)
Andres:    Hindi ako natatakot mamatay.
(lilingon si Lazaro sa tabi at isasara ang mata)
Fade to black
(Maririnig ang limang putok ng baril)

Epilouge:
Text and Narration:
Screen 1: Gumawa na lamang si Commandante Macapagal at ang kanyang mga tauhan ng mababaw na hukay gamit ang kanilang bayoneta kung saan inilibing ang Supremo at ang pinuno ng Tanglaw. Naiwasan nila ang mga napapatrolyang mga Guardiya Sibil pagkatapos. Hindi na napansin ng mga Español ang mga kahoy na palatandaan ng dalawang libingan.
Screen 2: Sa mga sumunod na araw sa pagbitay kay Andres Bonifacio, hinalughog ni Gregoria de Hesus ang buong Maragondon sa paghahanap ng libingan ng kanyang asawa. Ginawa niya ito hanggang sa nagdugo na ang kanyang mga paa. Sa kasawiang palad, hindi na niya natagpuan kahit kalian ang itinatagong bangkay ni Andres Bonifacio.
Screen 3: Makalipas ang dalawampu’t isang taon, nagbalik sina Lazaro Macapagal sa Mt. Buntis kasama ang ibang mga opisyales. Natagpuan nila doon ang mga labi ng magkapatid. Ang mga buto ni Bonifacio ay nilagay sa isang urn at itinabi sa Legistalive Building/ National Museum. Ang kanyang mga papeles, ari-arian kasama na ang kanyang revolver at bolo at itinabi rin. Noong Pebrero 1945, nabomba ng mga Hapon ang gusali at nasunog ang mga nilalaman nito.
(roll credits)
Screen 4:
Pinipintuho kong Bayan ay paalam, Masayang sa iyo'y aking idudulot
Ang lanta kong buhay na lubhang malungkot, Sa pakikidigma at pamimiyapis
Ang alay ng iba'y ang buhay na kipkip
Paalam, magulang at mga kapatid kapilas ng aking kaluluwa't dibdib
Paalam estranherang kasuyo ko't aliw, Mamatay ay siyang pagkakagupiling!
-- Jose Rizal, Mi Ultimo Adios
tinagalog ni Andres Bonifacio